There was enough naked flesh on show in Worksop last week to make a Dutch porn film director blush.
I had to do a double take a few times as I thought I had wandered into an open air butcher’s shop or an abattoir.
Some of the blokes’ pins on display were pastier and less appetising than frozen chicken legsAA Grundi
Everywhere Grundi looked there seemed to be an enormous, sweating lump of uncooked meat obscuring the horizon.
But, of course, this was no slaughter house. It was simply the good folk of Worksop enjoying the first half decent weather of the year.
As the mercury hit a sizzling 14 degrees, people came out to party on the banks of the Ryton.
It’s a temperature that would see most folk around the world still clad in a sensible jumper and trousers.
But not around here. I really shouldn’t complain because people in Worksop squeeze every ounce out of a rare sunny day.
The barbies were fired up and local supermarkets were struggling to cope with demand for booze and burgers.
On the streets women old enough to be Grundi’s mother (ok, elder sister) were cheerily decked out in hot pants, a crop top and flip-flops.
And I do mean decked out. Some of these women seemed to be older and more seaworthy than the Mary Rose.
But if anything the gentlemen were letting themselves down even more.
No man over the age of 40, other than maybe Vladimir Putin or Daniel Craig, should ever be seen out in public without a shirt on.
But in Worksop it’s de rigueur for menfolk to stagger round with their beer guts on show whether they’re aged 20 or 70. And some of the blokes’ pins on display were pastier and less appetising than frozen chicken legs.
As usual the warmer temperatures shouldn’t last long and everything will be back to normal soon. Well, as normal as fashion ever gets in Worksop...