AA Grundi: What have we learnt from another General Election rollercoaster?

The Bassetlaw count finally gets underway. Announcement expected around 5am.  Picture: Marie Caley NWGU 07-05-15 Bassettlaw Count MC 12
The Bassetlaw count finally gets underway. Announcement expected around 5am. Picture: Marie Caley NWGU 07-05-15 Bassettlaw Count MC 12

It was a tedious, exhausting and brutal process which saw several high profile stars joining the dole queues at the end of the night.

No, not the most recent series of X Factor. I’m going to have the final say on the General Election.

I’m sure most of us - including the politicians - are glad it’s all over for another five years.

But what have we learnt from General Election 2015.

First of all never believe an opinion poll. They got it totally wrong - ramping up the rhetoric to make everyone think it was going to be on a knife edge.

In the end it was as predictable as the Premier League. But why would anyone believe a poll anyway? Would you be honest if you were asked who you intended to vote for?

I’d be more than tempted to have some fun with them.

Yes sir I’ll be voting UKIP for MP, Lib Dem in the district council and Sinn Fein in the Euros.

The second thing we discovered is that the country is more divided than ever.

Blue middle England has remarkably little in common with the north and in particular with bonny Scotland.

There’s more chance of a peaceful, happy Christmas on Eastenders than there is in Parliament over the next five years.

Fifty-odd Scots are heading over the border before Cameron has time to rebuild Hadrian’s Wall.

They promise to be seriously noisy neighbours over the next few years. And I wouldn’t be surprised if there was an SNP candidate in Bassetlaw next time.

I also felt a bit sorry for messrs Miliband, Clegg and Balls.

I bet Clegg was gutted to have won his seat back - he stands to be bullied more than the spotty ginger kid when Parliament returns.

And as for Bassetlaw? Well, nothing changed whatsoever. Welcome back Mr Mann.