AA Grundi: Entire lives are being ruled by Tripadvisor

Ben Nevis. One star.
Ben Nevis. One star.

I know a worrying number of people whose entire lives are run by travel review website Tripadvisor.

They can’t eat at a restaurant, stop in a hotel, drink in a pub or even visit a loo without checking the Tripadvisor app on their phones.

Now websites like this are a Godsend in some ways - there’s literally no escape for any business offering sub-par service these days.

But they have created a whole army of idiots scrolling through their phones before they enter a single premises. I see them outside places all the time. Pretending to be texting friends when you know full well they are checking whether the toilet facilities at the Lord Nelson, Taj Mahal or Shangai Garden are up to scratch.

And they are of course open to any old lunatic to provide their own review - a good example being the one star given to of all places Ben Nevis recently.

This mighty mountain in the Scottish Highlands stands proudly at 4,409ft and has impressed with its lofty views and challenging gradients for as long as people first started climbing it.

But that was before the days of Tripadvisor. Now even a mountain of such scale and majesty has to be graded with a star. Recently, one moron was only willing to give Britain’s highest peak one star as it was ‘too steep and too high’ and made his girlfriend cry. Ah bless, it’s hardly the spirit of Sir Edmund Hillary now is it?

I can see Sir Edmund’s review now. Mount Everest. Decent view but the Sherpas were in pieces by the top. Parking was non-existent. Bit empty on weekends. Didn’t have a Wetherspoons. Two stars.

Anyway, our Ben Nevis reviewer went on to complain that there were ‘no facilities’ at the top (not even a Nando’s, I heard) and the walk back down was ‘boring’. He was also thankful it was free and ‘couldn’t see anyone paying for it’.