AA Grundi: A bike as a getaway vehicle is so typically Worksop

Peter Downs. Picture from Nottinghamshire police.
Peter Downs. Picture from Nottinghamshire police.

You might think the character pictured here is just your average Worksop troublemaker.

Handsome is the latest rogue from the town to be hit with a a criminal behaviour order – meaning he’s banned from certain parts of our fine metropolis.

Peter Downs is his name and he was in bother with the police for repeatedly stealing from cars and sheds around the town.

Nothing unusual in that I hear you scream.

A good proportion of people in Worksop must be banned from the town centre – and those who aren’t must be living in hope they will be soon.

But what caught my eye was in the small print of the order.

Specifically the fact that, and I quote, Downs cannot “ride or be on any form of bike in Worksop”.

Further investigation reveals this wan’t an attempt to make Worksop pedestrians safer from idiots riding bikes on the pavements or a sign that cyclist-hating Jeremy Clarkson had taken a new job as a presiding magistrate.

No, according to the police, Downs’ bike was his getaway vehicle. How wonderfully Worksop!

You never get that in a Hollywood movie.

After a multi-million dollar bank heist on the streets of LA or New York City, you rarely see the masked bad-asses pedalling away on two wheels.

Maybe Fast and Furious VIII will be set in Worksop and see Vin Diesel tearing down Bridge Street on a BMX, Jason Statham bothering the ducks in the Canch on a Chopper and Charlize Theron seductively polishing a mountain bike.

Anyway if you see Downs out and about on his bike make sure you report it to the police.

And if he’s in the Team Sky squad for the 2016 Tour de France we’ll know he’s been breaching his order.