Creative coffins for our MPs

Bassetlaw residents have joined MP John Mann in submitting their concerns regarding the proposed cuts to local ambulance stations
Bassetlaw residents have joined MP John Mann in submitting their concerns regarding the proposed cuts to local ambulance stations

African craftsman’s Paa Joe’s display of creative coffins at Clumber Park is a superb example of entrepreneurial business development with coffins being designed and made to match the character of the deceased person.

This has set my imagination going.

Someone could have a coffin made to like a giant pack of 20 Silk Cut - perhaps the tobacco industry might care to sponsor it. With Parliament riddled by more sleaze, sponsorship should be easy.

However, Paa Joe seems to specialise in animal styled coffins and lions seem to be very popular. But in some cases this might not be entirely appropriate.

Perhaps we could have a display in Parliament with voters choosing which coffin would suit each MP. Whoever the recent Number 10 love scandal is, they could have a giant rat.

There would be plenty of snakes coming top of the poll and more than a few slippery eels.

I can also see peacocks and chimpanzees, donkeys and mules getting a fair number of votes.

More than anything I can see a few sly foxes skulking around in the undergrowth.

Of course, we might be surprised and the great British public might want lions, tigers, eagles and pandas.

I myself might be persuaded to be represented by a porcupine.

An increasingly rare animal these days, but known to be prickly on the outside and very good at keeping the place free of nuisance pests.

HHH

I will join some MPs in Westminster by opposing a right to recall MPs as has been currently proposed and I want to explain why.

I have no problem when an MP is caught lining their pockets that they get booted out, but what will happen with a right of recall is that it will be mainly used for political point scoring.

We all know that there would have been a recall of Nick Clegg when he was challenged for lying, as if this was an extremely unusual occurrence amongst politicians. There would also be one on David Cameron over the NHS.

The place to resolve these issues and recall MPs is at a General Election.

Perhaps a compromise solution would be to have a by-election for every MP who loses their party whip?

HHH

I see that Members of the European Parliament do not have to declare their foreign bank accounts or property.

I think they should.

If our MEPs are building up a property portfolio through their elected work then you are entitled to know.

If they dodge British taxes or have bank accounts abroad then these should be openly declared.

Perhaps Mr Nigel Farage MEP would like to take the lead?

Certainly whoever is the first will be backed in doing so by the public.

HHH

I see that my call for Police Commissioners to be abolished has now been adopted by my party.

I have plenty of other proposals lined up for Mr Miliband and Mr Balls. But it is always good to win an argument.

Most of the Police Commissioners are already proving to be a disaster, though ours in working very well so far.

He might only have one term, but Nottingham’s Police Commissioner, Paddy Tipping has the opportunity to make a long term impact if he carries on how he has started.