What’s the most terrifying thing to see in your rear view mirror as you drive around Worksop?
Not a flashing blue light, a souped up BMW or some scroat pretending to be Marty Mcfly and cadging a free ride with his skateboard.
No, the biggest threat to a driver’s welfare remains that scourge of the roads - the white van.
It’s more deadly than spotting the fin of a Great White Shark heading your way.
And certainly any hope of a relaxing drive in my Bentley is straight out the window.
Why do men (I’ve never seen a woman driving one, but correct me if you know different) in white vans drive as if they are above the law?
Weaving through traffic, tearing up to your rear bumper like a dodgem car, and of course letting forth a stream of Anglo Saxon abuse if you get in their way.
Indicators? Forget it, they are only used by white van drivers as a form of abuse. In my experience they cut up their fellow motorists at every opportunity, drive fast in the slow lane and slow in the fast lane.
Roundabouts are treated like tests of masculinity. No white van man would be seen dead waiting for more than five seconds for traffic from the right. Who would dare get in their way? Even truck driver know their place when the white van is around.
If you get a good look at the driver he’ll either be shouting at other motorists or singing along loudly to Bon Jovi, Meatloaf or some other rubbish slice of rock.
And another thing, why are these vans all painted white any way? It seems the most impractical colour for vehicles doing the kind of job they do.
Is it purely to allow idiots to scrawl ‘CLEAN ME’ or a few obscenities on the rear doors when they’re parked up?