Where can you find people drinking Stella at 6am, wandering aimlessly around shops without buying anything and standing gormlessly in queues for hours on end when they don’t need to?
No, not Worksop town centre on your average weekend. I’m talking of course about the phenomenon which is airport behaviour.
Folk just act differently at airports to anywhere else. It’s as if passing through passport control flicks a switch and they’re off.
As soon as their cases are dumped and they’ve got through security people seem determined to let their hair down. Every summer Lady Grundi and I take a summer break somewhere suave and sophisticated - usually to escape the school holidays in Worksop.
And every time I’m amazed at the sights which confront me before the flight. Let’s start with the drinking. And we aren’t just talking about stag and hen parties here either.
Every time I go through an airport I see at least one respectable looking couple boozing away before the birds have started singing.
They wouldn’t dream of hitting the sauce at that time at home. I can’t really imagine this is the scene at many British breakfast tables:
“Pass the Pinot grigot when you’ve finished your Weetabix will you darling?And don’t forget to finish that Kronenburg with your egg on toast.”
Once they’ve hit the bar for their dawn tipple folk inevitably wander vacantly around the terminal shops. They don’t want or need to buy those £300 sunglasses of course. They just want to look at them.
And then we come to the queuing. Why do people rush to get on board aircraft? As soon as the boarding details are announced folk stampede to get in the queue like wildebeest.