AA Grundi: My New Year resolution is no walk in the park

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Even someone who is pretty much perfect like Grundi occasionally feels the need to strive for improvement.

And social convention demands that everyone takes a very close look at themselves each New Year. So I thought I’d share my New Year’s resolution with you - and don’t worry I’m not promising anything drastic like being nice about people in Worksop.

I’ve also no intention of giving up the booze or cigars having failed on both during countless Januaries of the past. So I settled on another old classic of getting fitter and fending off that unwanted paunch around the middle.

Having read recently that walking is the new fitness craze of choice, I thought I’d do a bit of research into how much rambling I’d have to do to work off my festive spare tyre.

Fortunately I didn’t have to look too hard as the NHS website is full of information about it - along with other useful tips like under no circumstances visiting your doctor’s unless you’re within half an hour of death.

Apparently the recommended distance to walk in order to stay fit and healthy is 10,000 steps. This seemed perfectly reasonable to me. I can definitely manage that in a week.

Alas, no. Closer inspection revealed that this is what they expect of you every single day!

It works out at around five miles - which means if you did it in one go you’d be setting off on a hike to Blyth every day. It sounds more like an exercise regime for a trainee Sherpa than a way to lose a few pounds. Who on earth has time for that anyway? Even a retired gent like me would struggle to find a spare three hours just for walking around.

Ah, but the NHS has plenty of ways to break it up into manageable chunks, such as ‘invest in a shopping trolley and shop locally if you can’ - you try that round here mate...