AA Grundi: Much closer than 6ft to a rat in the Canch

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They say you are never more than six feet away from a rat.

But I was considerably closer to one the other day when an enormous, over-fed specimen all but scurried across my toes as I strolled through the Canch.

I was feeling the need to burn off some Christmas excess so decided to take my chances in Worksop’s answer to Central Park (what a different series Friends could have been...)

The park was surprisingly free of riff raff at this early hour and I was enjoying filling my lungs with some fresh air.

But all hopes for a pleasant walk were dashed by this dreadful rodent as it scampered across the path in front of me.

I felt like Basil Fawlty when he comes face to face with Manuel’s rat in a box of cream crackers.

Even a man with iron nerves like Grundi was left shaken by the sight of one of these hideous creatures up close and personal.

This is not the sort of wildlife the council would want to be attracting to the Canch.

And I defy anyone to say they like to see a rat when they’re out and about - they’re right up there with flies and mosquitoes in the unloved animal stakes.

Their dirty fur, straggly long tails and sharp teeth aren’t exactly endearing or cuddly.

Squirells are essentially rats with bushy tails but somehow you’d much rather take one home.

Anyway, one of the main reasons why this rodent was hanging round the Canch became evident once I’d composed myself and carried on with my walk.

Kids were literally throwing lumps of bread into the water in a veritable frenzy of duck feeding.

No wonder rats are being attracted - it was the equivalent of a Christmas lunch for any passing rodent.