If you couldn’t manage a visit to Alton Towers with the kids this half term I can recommend a trip on the train to Sheffield as an alternative for thrillseekers.
The experience is much the same as a rollercoaster - you end up getting shaken around like a ragdoll, your bones rattle until they ache and you feel queasy by the time you get to Shireoaks.
When on earth are we going to get some new trains on the Sheffield to Worksop, Retford and Gainsborough line?
I would leave the Bentley in the garage being polished by the butler more often if travel on the rails was slightly more comfortable.
After all train travel should be, and often is, the smoothest of all.
You should be able to sit in a seat with plenty of room, be able to wander around the carriage at will and maybe enjoy a little something from the drinks a trolley.
Yet we must have the most rubbish fleet of trains in the country.
Every time I turn up at Worksop station I hope to see a new train glide in like you’d get just about anywhere on the Continent.
But no. The squealing of brakes and rattling over the points can mean only one thing.
The buses on rails that have dominated services on this line for 20 years are still in action.
And they are quite literally bus bodies mounted on train wheels.
What would you expect if you put the number 72 double decker on metal rails? You guessed it. A ride about as smooth as the surface of a cactus.
Is it too much to ask for some new trains after so long roughing it?
Or is all the money for new trains being spent in London and the Home Counties?