I don’t know about you but I’m now officially sick of hearing Scottish people arguing with each other.
It’s been as heated as closing time in the Gorbals the last few weeks as our northern cousins argue about whether to go it alone.
Once the big vote has taken place I don’t want to hear another Scottish accent until Hogmanay.
In fact if the two main protagonists - Alex Salmond and Alistair Darling - didn’t have such humorous names and faces I’d have been thoroughly bored months ago.
Surely the Scots will come to their senses and tell this leaping Salmond to jump back in the river where he came from?
Are things really that bad that they want out of our ancient Union?
It’s not as if the Queen rules like Edward I and marches an army north at the first sign of any trouble.
And on my last visit to Edinburgh the throngs of people on Princess Street and the Royal Mile didn’t exactly look impoverished by ‘rule from Westminster’ as they keep going on about.
If they do vote yes who’ll be next?
The Welsh? The Cornish? Yorkshire? Maybe, even Bassetlaw?
After all, Worksop folk are as famously thrifty (or tight) as any Highlander.
Perhaps I could lead a ‘yes’ campaign like this Salmond character?
Plus there are always plenty of noisy Scottish voices about on the streets of Worksop.
I think when folk north of the border want to escape the law (or their wives) they head to Worksop instead of Mexico or Brazil.
Anyway, roll on Friday and the end of it all. I just hope there isn’t a tied vote and Salmond and Darling have to toss a caber to decide Scotland’s future.