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Wallingwells - A Walk Into Hell (Chapter 4)
I TURNED left at the post box (last opened in 1955) to be directed by another footpath sign across yet another boggy swamp.
By now my boots had collected so much mud and cow-flopI looked like I'd got size 27 snow shoes on.
Yomping ahead in a crazy fashion, rocking from side to side like an old drunk, I managed to negotiate two more fields before I began babbling hysterically to myself and starting to imagine I could see cartoon mermaids waving seductively at me.
After circling round the hideously eerie, grey, scummy, silent and totally deserted Wallingwells angling lakes ("No Bloodworm Allowed", said a faded notice flapping in the breeze like the beckoning finger of a dead man), I finally decided I'd had enough of all this and turned back towards the woods to fight my way home.
En route I passed a heroic gaggle of ramblers in full coloured gear, bobble hats, canes, gaiters, the lot, marching determinedly across a ploughed field that looked like it had been urinated and dumped on by a million miserable farmers.
"Bit slippy underfoot, eh?" said one cheerily as he slithered and squelched along his 'public right of way'.
My heart went out to him.
"Go get 'em!" I wanted to yell as they sludged off into the distance. "Don't let the beggars grind you down! Walk where you damn well like! Ignore all the miserable 'Private - Keep Out!' signs! Let's strike a blow for the common man!"
Beware of maniacs in the woods... click here for the final instalment of Grundi's journey into Hell!
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Weather for Worksop
Sunday 12 February 2012
Today
Cloudy
Temperature: 3 C to 6 C
Wind Speed: 9 mph
Wind direction: North west
Tomorrow
Cloudy
Temperature: 3 C to 8 C
Wind Speed: 15 mph
Wind direction: North west
